Friday, February 18, 2011

Dreams

I have read some material that suggests our ability to imagine and dream help keep the brain alive so when we become physically capable again we will have the mental abilities to intertwine with the physical enabling us to recapture the abilities that were lost.
My dreams for the past nearly three years have been depressing due to the fact that I have been dreaming dreams with me being fully capable, skating with ease, running, walking doing things without the presence of disability and then I wake to my reality and stagger to the bathroom with my poor balance and become painfully aware that I am not free of ailments as I was seconds earlier in my dreams. I have consoled myself with the knowledge that maybe someday I will come back to the land of no ailments, if I dream it then the possibilities are still firing in my brain.
Over the last two weeks I have started to notice that in my dreams I am unbalanced, I could not easily climb over a box, balance, right eye vision and extra weight was getting in my way. I woke to be depressed for another reason, are my possibilities of full recovery disappearing with my inability to dream of no disabilities?
Up until now I could escape the world of disability by going to sleep where I would not feel my ailments and even feel what it's like to be fully able. Now I can still escape with sleep although disability is creeping into that world.
I have met another survivor who claims she has been unable to dream since surviving her stroke nearly 15 years ago...I remind myself that things could be worse.

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